Well, I arrived home one week ago tonight. I haven't meant to leave you all hanging, but I've kind of hit the ground running here at home. Life is as busy in Arkansas as it is humid :) I'd like to share not only my trip, but my post trip with those who want to know about it. Processing two months in South Africa is something that is going to take time and won't be done in one sitting - I'm convinced of that!
Even though I'm glad to be home, I definitely am missing the brothers, sisters, and babies that I left behind. One major thing I'm dealing with right now is just that life goes on. Life goes on in South Africa without me. Life went on here in Arkansas while I was gone; and it continues now that I'm back. I feel like I'm planet hopping. I have a world that no on here knows or can know. I have friends, stories, and experiences that no one here can know or understand. I learned and loved things that I want people to know, but they can't. I want people to be able to touch, taste, and smell my other world, but no matter how detailed I am... they just weren't there. Nobody here will think my babies are as cute as I do, that the jokes are as funny as I do, or the people are as wonderful as I do. I'm right back where I started the trip saying, "It's just you and me God. Help that to be enough for me."
At times, I know He is enough. Other times feel much lonelier. Sometimes I feel like I ended up in the wrong planet. In the end, I know that contentedness is called for. God has called me to this place at this moment. I'm excited to know that and be convinced of it. I can be excited about being home now and about school soon because I know that God used Africa and my family there to prepare me for a time such as this. I know that there are opportunities to serve, love, and share the gospel each day... I just have to look for them the same way I did in Africa. My future may be uncertain. I may not know where I'll be in a few years or in a lot of years, but I know that for now He has called me to Little Rock, Arkansas and he has good works prepared for me here. I know that my God is one that can be trusted. He loves me so much and if I am faithful He will use me. So that's what I'll do! Right now is it time to keep on keepin' on :)
Some of the family I left behind:
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| The Drews |
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| Living Hope Church |
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Some of the Macks, Sarah (now home in Switzerland), and Britt
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Some of the Family I came home to:
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| My Biological family :) |
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| Blake, Me, Chanley, and Luke - My best friends and biggest encouragers |
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| Blake - the BF (picture from the airport when I got home) |
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Claire, I can relate to what you have described in this post. I seem to always feel the same way when I return from mission trips having served alongside people who have a deep passion for what they are doing and I am convicted that I often don't have the same passion for what I do here.
ReplyDeleteGod has used this experience to light a flame in your soul that I am confident will never go out. Don't let it go out. Pass it on to others every chance you get. Let's see the world consumed with the same thing that Jesus loves.
MLE