Reflections

Tonight I wrote a few paragraphs about my time in Pretoria to send to the Drews as one of my final projects for the internship. It made me reflect and choose what some of the biggest lessons I learned there were, although it did not take long for me to think of them since I don't think a day has passed when I have not thought of my time in Africa. Today is two months since I arrived home. It feels like an eternity and it feels like yesterday all in one.

A few nights ago, in the women's bible study I go to with my church here in Russellville, we were discussing hope. I started tearing up as I thought about my babies in South Africa. They are such a beautiful, earthly picture of the spiritual hope we are given in Christ. They were rescued from dark pasts and dark futures. God saved them while they were helpless and before they asked for help. Hasn't he done the same for me? The new environment has changed them, too. In the two months I spent at the baby home I saw them transform. I'm so thankful that God is constantly transforming me. I can't wait until he returns and brings me home! Let's praise Him for the hope he has given us! 

"My hope is build on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness."

Just an update

Well, I arrived home one week ago tonight. I haven't meant to leave you all hanging, but I've kind of hit the ground running here at home. Life is as busy in Arkansas as it is humid :) I'd like to share not only my trip, but my post trip with those who want to know about it. Processing two months in South Africa is something that is going to take time and won't be done in one sitting - I'm convinced of that!

Even though I'm glad to be home, I definitely am missing the brothers, sisters, and babies that I left behind. One major thing I'm dealing with right now is just that life goes on. Life goes on in South Africa without me. Life went on here in Arkansas while I was gone; and it continues now that I'm back. I feel like I'm planet hopping. I have a world that no on here knows or can know. I have friends, stories, and experiences that no one here can know or understand. I learned and loved things that I want people to know, but they can't. I want people to be able to touch, taste, and smell my other world, but no matter how detailed I am... they just weren't there. Nobody here will think my babies are as cute as I do, that the jokes are as funny as I do, or the people are as wonderful as I do. I'm right back where I started the trip saying, "It's just you and me God. Help that to be enough for me."

At times, I know He is enough. Other times feel much lonelier. Sometimes I feel like I ended up in the wrong planet. In the end, I know that contentedness is called for. God has called me to this place at this moment. I'm excited to know that and be convinced of it. I can be excited about being home now and about school soon because I know that God used Africa and my family there to prepare me for a time such as this. I know that there are opportunities to serve, love, and share the gospel each day... I just have to look for them the same way I did in Africa. My future may be uncertain. I may not know where I'll be in a few years or in a lot of years, but I know that for now He has called me to Little Rock, Arkansas and he has good works prepared for me here. I know that my God is one that can be trusted. He loves me so much and if I am faithful He will use me. So that's what I'll do! Right now is it time to keep on keepin' on  :)

Some of the family I left behind:

The Drews

Living Hope Church

Some of the Macks, Sarah (now home in Switzerland), and Britt

Some of the Family I came home to: 

My Biological family :)

Blake, Me, Chanley, and Luke - My best friends and biggest encouragers

Blake - the BF (picture from the airport when I got home)

Team work! Two is better than one.

This week has been a heaping scoop of crazy and more than a few dashes of busy. There is a team here from my home church, The Bible Church of Little Rock. Four adult leaders and eleven young adults are here to helping out for 9 days.

Andre and Pastor Josh have been leading them around Africa and partnering with other pastors and churches to meet their needs. Saturday they were here at the Home with us, Sunday we had church, and Monday and Tuesday they were in Standerton. Standerton is a shanty town. We are friends with Pastor James who is serving faithfully there. He makes $5 a month to feed his family of 6. They can't afford to send their kids to school because they can't buy uniforms. Despite this, Pastor James faithfully preaches the true gospel, rather than a prosperity gospel which is thriving and would bring home more money. He is always smiling; and he helps to feed the orphans in the area and tutor them after school. The team blessed him by coming along side him and helping enable him to continue in the ministry he is already doing. They spent Wednesday at the Home, helping with projects and playing with my babies.

On Thursday, Britt - the other intern here with me - and I were able to go with the team to Pilanesburg again. It was an eventful trip!! In the first 30 minutes one of our cars was charged by an elephant! Praise the Lord that that mad momma stopped before running all the way into it! Then, at lunch a monkey jumped over the deck and stole some of Britt's chips (French fries)!!!

This weekend the team is going to two more townships to help out pastors and churches there. I'm so thankful that they are here partnering with these churches to help enable them to serve more effectively.

On Sunday I will leave on the same flight as the team to go home. I'm both sad and excited at the same time.  I really don't want to leave my babies or my new friends. Two months is so short and I feel like I'm at the point where I really have some great relationships here that I hate to leave as they are just blossoming. However, the Lord has taught me so much here and I know that He has changed me. I can't wait to see what opportunites he will give me to apply everything to life back home!

"Home is the nicest word there is." - Laura Ingalls Wilder

The first time I stepped foot into the baby home I was greeted by a silly, enthusiastic laugh. I laughed back and he laughed again; and so the game began. The Boss was the first face I saw. He has an infectious smile and gives really great hugs. His heart can be so tender at times; if one of his friends is crying he will find their comfort item (bottle, dummy, etc) and bring it to them. He gets so distressed and flustered if one of his friends is crying and will go to them and try to comfort them. The Boss loves music and dancing. He also really loves his Daddy! This guy's dad comes to church most weeks to visit him. His daddy loves him very much and wants to take good care of him. After weeks and weeks of waiting, the court has finally signed the papers to let him go home to his dad! Today was very bittersweet for me. Sweet because I know this guy will be so happy with his Dad and bitter because I will miss him so much! He has a hard road ahead of him adjusting to a new life. Pray for this little guy!

 I've now seen three babies come into the home and one leave. I'm thankful that I could see a happy reunion while I was here. I'm praying God holds and keeps my baby no matter where he is.

The Sands of Time

The hour glass keeps running and there is no way to stop it. I can hardly believe that I will be leaving Africa in a week and a half! Before I came two months seemed so long. When I arrived, I didn't understand why everyone I met kept saying, "Only two months?! So short!" I wanted to say back "Short? Are you kidding me? Two months away from home and the people I care about?" I thought they were crazy. Now I know that I was the crazy one! The time has flown by and it just won't stop. I'm excited to go home and see all the people I love and miss... but I am sad to be leaving behind so many people I love and will miss as well. I have to say that the latter is the stronger feeling right now; but shhh! Don't tell my mom ;)

My time in Africa has changed me - just as everyone told me it would. It has changed my relationship with God, with my boyfriend, with my friends; it has changed how I view adoption, ministry/mission, culture/races, the church, poverty/wealth, violence, and discipleship; it has renewed my passion and desire for God and ministry at home. I wasn't on the bandwagon before coming, but this African sun has definitely gotten under my skin!

Although I am heart-broken to see the end of this African road, my heart is strengthened to know that each day that stretches out in front of me is planned by God. I know that my time here was fruitful. I was able to serve and fulfill a need here, to love on God's orphans, to seek to encourage and serve His Servants, and to meet some brothers and sisters I didn't know before. I'm not checking out for this last week and half! I'm just reflecting and pulling up my boot straps to go hard and finish strong! Please pray for strength as I am just starting to get weary with the busy schedule of July - but also praise God for sustaining me this far! Pray for health as my headaches are getting stronger - but also praise Him for teaching me so much through the headaches! Pray that I will seek God with all my heart and soul, and that I would give my everything to our family in Africa until He says it is time to go.

Thank you for everyone who has been supporting me in prayer! I love you all!

Sarah and I in our uniforms :)

Tiny Love

Oh happy day!! We got a brand new baby boy at the home yesterday! He  is 15 days old and weighs 3 kilos!! I think he is just darling :) We now have 7 babies at the home!! You can only say so much about an infant since they don't really have any favorite games yet or say anything super cute! :) A picture is worth a thousands words though so I think I can make up for my lack of creativity real fast!

With Heather

Fuzzy hair!

With Auntie Jeanne!

Sooo cute!!

Sleeping :)

A Confession and An Appeal

I've been wanting to write this specific blog post for a while, but I haven't known what to say. I kept thinking that I needed inspiration; I needed to say the perfect thing; I needed to convince someone of what I'm about to ask! But, our Faithful God has used the time that I have put this off to work in my sinful and prideful heart. You see, the baby home is in desperate need of new interns! Starting August 2nd there will be no more female interns here. The baby home cannot run without them! That means that they will have to hire on more full time caregivers which they simply don't have the money to do. Interns save the baby home $800 a month! Everyone here is trusting God to provide for the need however he sees fit.

I wanted to write a post to be the one who convinced someone to come. Sure I had good motives mixed in there - I know that this has changed my life and will change the life of anyone else who comes here. I want that for my friends so badly I don't know how to put it into words!! I want them to learn from the church here and the missionaries.  I want them to see this beautiful country and get to hug on my precious, family-less babies. I want them to taste Milo (my favorite drink here), to see the tin huts my friends live in, and to feel Africa's sun on their faces. I want the baby home's needs filled. I want help for the people here who selflessly and tirelessly (even though they ARE tired!) give up their own wants, desires, and needs every minute of every day!

But even in all these good desires, I was seeking the glory of being used. I don't need that anymore. Now I know that God doesn't need me to work. He chooses to use me and bless me.  It isn't about me and I know now that God won't call the whole world to come to this ministry. You aren't a bad person for not coming here. He has a plan for your life and that might NOT include coming here. But I also know it might. So I'm writing this with a humbled heart that is trusting God with the care of His orphans and children. I'm not trusting my own writing; I'm not going to tweak this word and that word until it sounds appealing and makes you want to come change nappies every day. But, I am going to cover this blog post and each eye that reads it in prayer. I am going to ask you to talk to the God who I am putting my trust in and see if He would have you come and serve here.

There is a need! A great need! I know He will provide in the way that brings Himself the most glory. Please consider coming here! Once someone decides to come, they will have a great need financially - consider giving towards that need. And as much as anything, please join us in prayer for God's provision!
`
From Heather Drew:
"Interns must be committed followers of Christ, servant-hearted and flexible, 18 years old or older (healthy older saints are welcome as well!(: ), fluent in English, and must raise their own support.
The purpose of these internships is 1) keep down the costs of running the baby home, 2) keep our caretaker to baby ratio low and our standards of care high, 3) the internship has the potential to be genuinely life-changing and fondly memorable for those who intern with us. If you are interested in learning more about our internships, please contact Donovan Drew at donovan@1hope4africa.com."

Also, feel free to email me with any questions about my experience: claimag05@gmail.com